We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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