Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
