He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
