Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
