He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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