I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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