I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
