I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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