yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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