this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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