I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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