So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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