I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
