Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Found the puke drawer
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
