Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
