1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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