i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
