i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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