oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize