They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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