"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
