Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
