So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
