i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
