Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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