She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize