we have pet lesbian snakes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
