Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
