i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
