I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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