My room smells like vodka and shame
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
