Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
