how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
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When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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