Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
