apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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