Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
