The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
