Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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