Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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