Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.