I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style