Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
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Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?