I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
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Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.