pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Im part way to drunk.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
im on a boat
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