I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
love makes seman taste better
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
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If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
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Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL