Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.