I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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