i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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