I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
