My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize