my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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