end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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