My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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