Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
