Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
being pregnant is like rehab
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
