My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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