I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize