So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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