im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
