Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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