I cockslap morals
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?