You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr