can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself