i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.