I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
where does the pee come out of this thing
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
