Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is wine microwaveable?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
