do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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