Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

He had one of those small greek statue penises

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(419): View more from Ohio

It'd be like medium rare by now.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.

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(816): View more from Missouri

So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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(530): View more from California

Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.

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(206): View more from Washington

My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town

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(706): View more from Georgia

In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good

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