i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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