I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
