Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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