Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This is the high leading the old right now
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
