If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
