are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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