D3 body, D1 cock
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
